Friday, April 29, 2005

memory lapse

I'm having serious lapses in memory. I forgot to do the poem of the week. And just now I turned around and thought that's strange my tv is off. Did it automatically shut itself off cos it's been on so long? How long have I been awake? Then I remembered I turned it off a few hours ago. I had been so engrossed in my msn conversations that I had forgotten.

There are good points to having msn and bad ones too. This isn't going where you think it's going. It's just a family rant. It's cool that I can keep in touch with my fam who are all over the place, Taipei, Moscow, New Zealand, Vancouver...where ever else they are...but it's bad when they do the conversion and ask me what I'm doing up at a strange hour. What? So I'm nocturnal. You would be too if you just had 5 months of sunless winter. But still it doesn't refelct well on me. What if it's reported back to my mother? Yeah I'm 25, but she'll still find a way to yak my ear off about it. Possibly on a long flight to Moscow this summer?

I am blogging from desktop and he is about to blow, so I'd better publish before he gets too unstable.

a*c at 4:24 a.m.

|

Saturday, April 23, 2005

the men's change room

Something about the men's change room keeps on pulling me in. It has been twice now that I have gone to the gym and almost been lead in to the men's change room (through different doors). I dont' have a problem with this, I just hope that one day I'll be lead in there and not be dissapointed by what is on the otherside. Although I have been informed by inside sources that it smells funny (but really what do you expect?)

a*c at 4:12 p.m.

|

Friday, April 22, 2005

playlist

Winter in the Hamptons- Josh Rouse
All My Senses- Mando Diao
Arc of Time- Bright Eyes
Come on Closer- Jem
China Girl- David Bowie

a*c at 1:05 a.m.

|

Thursday, April 21, 2005

easy as 1 2 3

I don't even have a fucking boyfriend and i'm surrounded by boyfriend problems! I won't get into the frigging continuing emails becos i have resolved to ignore them...but just now at 3am my phone rings. It's downstairs.

I'm thinking oh it might be Milla or Ruby, they could have forgotten their card on a late Tims run and figured they would try me since my sleep times are indeterminite. I answer just incase and there is this girl:

uhhh...hello...

me: who is this?

girl: uh...you don't know me but my boyfriend lives on the 10th floor and he's not answering his phone

me: so you just decided to randomly call up anyone at 3am? you can't do that...

and at this point...very early in my rant...i heard her pressing the buttons to hang up, but it wasn't hanging up. so i continue:

what makes you think that it is a a good idea to call someone at 3am? -- and then the phone cuts me off.

I get dressed slowly thinking I don't want to go down there and beat some girl up so I'll just wait until she is gone. And obviously the concierge is not down there since guests are randomly calling residents to let them in. So about 10 minutes later I go down and no one is down there. I sit and wait about 10 minutes and still no one...i have a good idea of who is working tonight (Milla you know who I'm talkign about!!!) Good luck if he decides to show up anytime soon. So I jsut wrote a note for them to call when they returned. I wasn't goign to bust him, he can do whatever he wants, but I do want to bust these freaking people on the 10th floor whose insane girlfriends are ringing me at 3am.

So i made it clear to dude downstairs that I will find out who called me or i'll just go and knock on every door on the 10th floor until I find them. And then I'll continue my rant. Stupid people like this should learn that there are repercussions to their moronic actions. I am finding out who these ppl are and I am making a complaint.

And on a side note. i hate the new phone systems in my building. They don't work! and whose genius idea was it to give my suite the easiest freaking number as my dial code! i'm goign to have every dimwit, drunk and small child calling me.

And all you totally annoying people with boyfriends go away. Dont' involve me in your conflicts, I don't have a boyfriend for these reasons. Just cos I'm single doesn't mean I have no life and can help you sort out your relationship issues. oops look at me. I said I wasn't goign to talk about those emails and here I am vaguely ranting about it. (yes more came)

anyways this post is really just a reminder to myself of what happened tonight. incase i forgot in my sleep. a*c--->yous out to get somebody on the 10th floor!

a*c at 4:51 a.m.

|

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

afternoon in the park

I was lying in the park this afternoon and taking a break from lying in the park and writing. My ipod was blasting away in my ears and I think i may have nodded off a little bit. Suddenly I'm awake and I need to sneeze. I sneezed twice (kindof painfully because I think I was lying on a stick) and then laid back and set my hand down. Suddenly there is wetness on my face, I'm thinking great...snot...but no...I opened my eyes and saw a grey great dane panting over me. Hello! I sat up and patted the dog and made sure it woulnd't lick my face again. I was laughing thinking that my allergies are great...they're instant.

So you know in the movies the owner would have walked up and it would be some hot dude, in reality, it was two lesbians. Later as I sat up for a smoke a sketchy young dude wanders over and asks me for a light. That's when I figured I should leave the park, but he stayed and made coversation. Then invited me to join his friends over on the grassy knoll for some home grown canadian treats. So I thought, what the hell, I've already frenched a great dane today, I might as well go meet some wierd ppl sitting over at the other end of the park. I walk over to this guy's friends with him and there is a chick in a prom dress and jean jacket sitting next to this skinny bohemian guy. I sit down and make conversation and the bohemian guy sudenly pulls out a banjo. So I laid in the park this afternoon with a sketchy kid who was trying to pick me up, a girl in a prom dress and a guy with a banjo. oh, and made out with a dog. What did you do?

a*c at 6:17 p.m.

|

so you're the one who's always blasting music

No. I'm not always the one who is blasting music. You just hear mine more because I'm next to the elevator. Everyone else on my floor plays music as loudly as I do. Thank you very much.

So that's what I was thinking when the dude who came to test the fire alarm came into my suite and said the title of this blog to me. Instead I actually just said, yep that's me!

a*c at 12:14 p.m.

|

Monday, April 18, 2005

I should know better...

My friend recently broke up with his girlfriend and they have been having a rough time at it. I've been trying to be a good friend and listen to his issues and offer advice where I can. I know nothing I say will make it easier for him. On friday i get this email in my inbox from his ex. It was simple. I could have ignored it. But no. I'm stupid. I go and feel badly for her and reply sympathetically, thinking of maybe that will help. I just fanned the freaking flames there. I got a reply to my message today; an email of epic proportions, mostly bashing MY friend. I know better now to not respond. But I should have at the beginning!

a*c at 11:54 p.m.

|

poem of the week

Constant Yearning

We are
Like lutes
Once held by God.
Being away from His warm body
Fully explains
This
Constant
Yearning.

a*c at 1:05 p.m.

|

Sunday, April 17, 2005

alone

Today was one of those days where I totally appreciated being on my own. No phone calls, no e-mails, no contact with the outside world. Just me and the Sunday NY Times. I got up at 1pm and felt a little disoriented. I turned on the TV for some background noise and there was a repeat of the W5 that I wanted to watch. There was gonna be a piece on my fave poker champ Danny Negraneau (I have no idea how to spell his last name), but i missed the first showing. I was happy to get to see it today. I hate him but i lub him (usually the story of most men in my life). It's a long thing but I won't get into it...he just fascinates me.

After W5 I read the Times, which takes up the most part of my sunday afternoons (if it is interesting), went out to the chinese bakery to get some buns, gorged on buns, and attempted to work on chapter 3 of my project but ended up watching Mulan instead. Then I cleaned the house so it wouldn't be an entire waste of a day. Then evil sunday night TV came on and i was locked in for an hour in front of the fuzzy tv.

a*c at 11:30 p.m.

|

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

southern hemisphere

My Daddy is on his 2nd business trip to the southern hemisphere. When he was in Austrailia last year I asked him several times to check which way the toilets flush. Finally he checked and confirmed that they do indeed flow the opposite way from us. Now he is on his way to NZ and i have already sent the e-mail requesting that he check the toilets there as well. If it's a yes, then I just need one more country in the southern hemisphere tested and i will be a believer.

a*c at 3:00 a.m.

|

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Playlist

The Man I Used to Be- K-os
California Love- 2Pac
I Need Love- LL Cool J
Step into the World- Krs One
Banana Pancakes- Jack Johnson

a*c at 9:52 p.m.

|

Monday, April 11, 2005

Poem of the Week

This Sane Idea

Let your
Intelligence begin to rule
Whenever you sit with others

Using this sane idea:

Leave all your cocked guns in a field
Far from us,

One of those damn things
Might go

Off.

-Hafiz

a*c at 5:50 p.m.

|

Sunday, April 10, 2005

The Things I Saw Today

Played hookey from the workshop today and went ended up hanging out with my friend. I saw so many strange things today. Or maybe things are just strange to me becuase I haven't been out doors for a long period of time for a while. I saw two fathers with their babies in slings around, like little satchels. It was wierd but cool. They were like little pod babies.

On the rooftop patio I could see some re-enactment going on in Fort York. Just as we were noticing the seagulls and hoping they weren't goign to shit on our heads we both saw this wierd bird. It landed not far from us and it was a baby hawk! Junky doesn't beleive it was a hawk so i found a pic.
Then there was a strange plane noise and I loooked up into the sun and saw this perfect circle of a rainbow around the sun. v. cool.

a*c at 8:27 p.m.

|

Saturday, April 09, 2005

be happy

I woke up and flipped on Charles and Camilla's wedding. I was really curious of what she was going to wear, it was what I assume is a Philip Tracey creation (otherwise known as hats to some ppl) , this cool long Elvish looking dress, and big heels (cos she was as tall as the Prince). It was pretty boring during the singing and reading bits so I went online to read articles to find out what I had missed so far. Most of the articles were comparing Camilla to Diana and this wedding to that one.

Ok ppl sorry, but Diana is dead. She died a long time ago. It was sad. It is sad that she was unhapy. But it's over now, life has gone on and she is at peace and the ppl who are still living are all happy now. So everyone move forward and be happy.

Then there is the friggin Queen sitting there with this I'm-totally-unamused face. Dood, your son's getting married to the love of his life! Just smile. Be happy. It won't kill you. Maybe if she had done something other than frown there would be less criticism and more joy.

a*c at 11:33 a.m.

|

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

telephone games

The saga of the strange blocked calls continues. It's been a few days since the last one. Long enough for me to forget about it for a little while.

My friend called me today from a payphone. Since I was expecting a call from an unknown number I answered and it was my somewhat still estranged bestfriend. It's been well over a month since I've spoken to him. I'm not avoiding him. I just don't really have anything to say. I knew that he was the sneaky type to call me from another number...usually that doesn't work because I don't answer unknown numbers. Today I was duped.

a*c at 10:34 p.m.

|

slowly

slowly i am beginning to realise that I have no f'ing clue what I am doing. I feel like Bart when he keeps on going to get that cupcake and it keeps on zapping him (Lisa's science experiment: Is my Brother Dumber than a Hamster?). Dude, I am dumber than a hamster!

playlist
Set you Free- The Black Keys
Caring is Creepy- The Shins
Stupid and Shallow- The Futureheads
Take it or Leave it- JET
Endlessly-Muse

a*c at 1:37 a.m.

|

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

herbs

My friend Allan dropped off another bottle of my herbal Intra drink. I'm salivating just thinking about it...mmmmm.....

a*c at 8:02 p.m.

|

cosmic vibrations

I had a funny psychic moment yesterday. I was sitting around thinking that I should e-mail my publishing friend tomorrow. Later that evening I even mentioned to Junky that I was going to e-mail him. A few minutes later I checked my Yahoo account and found an email from him, letting me know that their offices had moved. It was wierding but I replied and might be going back to writing workshops on sundays. We'll see.

a*c at 2:57 p.m.

|

Monday, April 04, 2005

Poem of the Week

I’m resurrecting Poem of the Week, which I think I did on Mondays. i was given a book of poetry written by Hafiz, the great Sufi master and thought poems from it would be a good way to motivate me to post more. And of course a great way for my subconscious to voice itself.

Practice This New Birdcall

The way we live opens windows
And calls in a secret voice to anything
Still missing.

There is nothing in your mind
You have not invited in.

There is no event in your life
You in some way
Did not drive a hard bargain for.

We were all once like moons,
often full and bright.

The heart, in ints wisdom,
Ceaselessly shops for
Him.

The wise in any foreign country
Seek a trude guide.

The guide says,

“Just practice this new birdcall,
It will attract to you
Something even
Greater than

Love.”

-Hafiz

a*c at 3:08 a.m.

|

Sunday, April 03, 2005

strange days

I figured I wouldn't be going out last night so I took the oppourtunity to wash a load of jeans. I knew that drying them would take all night. Milla taught me how to re-spin clothes in the washer, which cut down the drying time immensly but I still stayed in.

For most of the evening I was too lazy to get up and change the channel so I watched these mini docs about the pope for a few hours (and they repeated themsevles many times over). I think my catholic upbringing helped me build an ability to listen to ppl drone on about the same topic over and over again. After I've filtered out the info it just turns into background noise.

When I finally gathered enough strength to get into bed I slept fitfully. I had this dream where I was getting ready to go to LA and I kept on forgetting what time my plane was leaving and I was totally unprepared and people where here and no one would help me get ready. It was incredibly frustrating.

I got up thinking about how stupid I was to have developed this lame crush on some dude but chased the thoughts away with the NY Times and a tea. About half way through my readings there was some wierd power surge or something and everything flashed for a second. Only my stereo turned off. Someone doesn't like the Flaming Lips?

It's just around now that I'm realising it's so much later than I thought it was. Even though I spoke to my Daddy last night he failed to remind me to change my clocks. When he doesn't tell me I always forget. Even my cell phone didn't change over until I shut it off and turned it back on again. Good to know that I can go back to bed 1 hour sooner.

a*c at 3:40 p.m.

|

Saturday, April 02, 2005

how long was your longest relationship?

I was recently asked how long my longest relationship was...as if that is a way to gague what sort of girlfriend I would be. I think it was just conversation, but at the same time I felt like I was being tested and measured up to some sort of girlfriend material chart.

So I did as I usually do and answered a question with a question: well I don't know, what would you consider a relationship?

This worked well in steering the conversation away from the topic. Relationships in general were discussed but no personal details were revealed. I'm not out with you to talk about other boys and I certainly don't want you to launch into a story about the last girl who broke your heart. That's friend and boyfriend talk. If you're a male who is not in one of those categories that line of questioning will only get you a txt message cancelling our next date (and then it's over). You can get to know me just fine without basing it on my past relationships.

playlist
The Name of the Game- ABBA
Back Where we Started- Tina Dico
Vicar in a Tutu- The Smiths
Winterlong- the Pixies
Restless Heart- Starsailor

a*c at 1:40 p.m.

|

Friday, April 01, 2005

warm breeze

Blogger on my desktop is so much better because it's got more options. I can be lazy and not have to write in the html tags.

Yesterday I was out for a walk and I felt a warm breeze. It was more like a gust of wind, but the fact that it wasn't bitter and cold made me so happy.

and that is all I have to say now, I've totally forgotten how to blog!

a*c at 12:48 p.m.

|